I’ve always loved TV crime dramas, but ever since I began working as a federal
sex-crimes prosecutor, I watch shows like Law & Order and CSI with a more jaded eye. The stories are still fun . . . but they get some facts so wrong, I end up laughing when I should be gasping. Here are the top five mistakes TV crime shows make:
1. You won’t get fingerprints off that gun.
Sorry, not gonna catch the killer that way. Usable prints are notoriously tough to get, and guns are the worst surface to get them from. A combination of conditions – dry skin, too much humidity, textured rubber or metal – conspire to wipe the gun clean, even if the shooter didn’t do it himself. When I use a fingerprint expert, it’s usually to educate the jury on why there aren’t prints on the gun.
2. Most rapists don’t lurk in bushes.
Rapes committed by strangers do happen, and get a lot of media coverage when they do, but usually a rapist is a man the victim knows intimately: an ex-boyfriend or stepfather; her doctor or minister; a teacher or coach; a professional colleague or the guy she invited home from a bar. I no longer worry about someone breaking in through my window – but I’m more cautious about who I’ll open the door for.
3. Prosecutors don’t wear stilettoes.
Female prosecutors on TV sashay to court in four-inch Manolos. But real prosecutors are on their feet all day and often lugging big boxes of exhibits, so comfy shoes are key. The seasoned female prosecutor wears mid-range heels: you look nice for the jury but won’t break a toe when you stand to object. Sometimes the walk to the courthouse is done in flip-flops, with a quick switcheroo right before the judge takes the bench.
4. Most victims aren’t beautiful young heiresses who secretly work as strippers.
But you already knew that.
5. The bad guy will never confess with his lawyer sitting right there.
You know the scene. In a dingy jailhouse meeting room, the prosecutor badgers the defendant until he sobbingly confesses: “Okay, I killed her! I had no choice!” Meanwhile, the defense attorney sits there looking mildly constipated. A real defense attorney is as likely to let his client be questioned by the prosecutors as a lobster is to throw himself into a pot of boiling water. Defense attorneys know the vast majority of their clients are guilty – and any time a defendant opens his mouth, he risks revealing that. As a writer, I understand why this scene is so popular – the prosecutor hero needs to find out what really happened, and only the killer can say for sure. But it’s pure fiction. (That said, I will always have a crush on Sam Waterston, the maestro of this scene on Law & Order.)
Looking for a realistic crime story? Check out my novel, “Law of Attraction.” Suspense Magazine named it one of the best books of 2010.
All views on this blog are mine alone and do not necessarily represent the views of the U.S. Department of Justice.
The One says
9 December, 2010 at 10:28 pmI found this blog from a comment at Free Range Kids’ blog. I thought I was the only one who watches Law and Disorder SVU just to point out the inconsistencies and bold-faced lies. It is almost comical. I’ve watched so many episodes of this show I could write a better episode than Dick Wolf can. Judging by what you’ve written, so could you.
Allison Leotta says
13 December, 2010 at 4:18 pmWhat a funny connection! I wouldn’t have thought this blog would be relevant to parenting, but yes I can see how watching SVU might make you more nervous about your kids. I still think SVU makes some good points — for example, one episode this season dealt with the problem of the backlog in rape kits, and it did a good job of getting people talking about that problem — but I do feel compelled to weigh in with my own prime-time reality check when they get stuff wrong. Which does sometimes give me lots of material to work with.
Terri says
11 December, 2010 at 5:55 amAllison, what I want to know is: Can I have a soundtrack accompany me wherever I go?
(Love your top five list!)
Allison Leotta says
17 December, 2010 at 2:14 pmDidn’t Ally McBeal have her own soundtrack wherever she went? (Thanks, Terri!)
Grace Burrowes says
17 December, 2010 at 11:55 amAnd in deference to your esteemed opposing counsel, you left out the one about the defense attorney is never six foot three, gorgeous, single, and harboring a secret crush on you. Neither is the judge, neither is the star witness, neither is the jury foreman, nor the bailiff–though they’re all probably nice people viewed in the correct light. All of which makes focusing on the job easier… I suppose.
Allison Leotta says
17 December, 2010 at 2:12 pmActually, the bailiff does have a crush on me. 🙂
Sarah K says
17 December, 2010 at 2:08 pmYou missed the one that most aggravates me about all the crime drama shows: where are the advocates?! I find myself yelling that at the screen every time a victim on the show is experiencing trauma and it’s up to the caring investigators or prosecutor (with all their spare time) to attend to the victim’s every need.
Allison Leotta says
17 December, 2010 at 2:11 pmSo true!
Terri says
11 January, 2011 at 9:19 amHey Allison,
I just posted a link to you on DivorceSaloon: http://www.divorcesaloon.com/2011/01/07/tv-divorce-lawyers-vs-real-life-divorce-lawyers/comment-page-1/#comment-3916
I hope you had a great New Year’s! (BTW I changed my Ch 1 and I AM really happy with it…Thanks!)
:<)
Allison Leotta says
13 January, 2011 at 3:13 pmFabulous, thanks, Terri! I really appreciate it. You’re getting around the web these days! I’m glad you’re happy with the revised Chapter 1. Someone once told me that all writing is re-writing (and I definitely found that to be true myself). Hope the muse is treating you right, and everything else is going great for you!