A mother is suing a man for conducting a sadomasochistic relationship with her daughter, who was mentally ill. Are the mentally ill capable of consent? I was part of that conversation on HuffPost Live today. You can see the segment here:
Leave Him or Die: SVU’s Warning to Rihanna and You
What’s more controversial than a hip-hop star beating his pop-star girlfriend so badly she can’t sing at their Grammy gig that night? SVU portraying a barely-fictionalized version of their relationship, which ends with the guy killing the girl.
Last night’s Law & Order: SVU took Chris Brown and Rihanna’s tumultuous relationship to its most extreme conclusion: with a thinly-veiled Brown beating a thinly-veiled Rihanna to death. After the episode, the Internet lit up with comments, many of them blasting the show for killing the singer in effigy.
But SVU was right to do it.
If anyone is the face of domestic violence in America, it’s Rihanna. And not just because of her personal life: the beating, her decision to drop charges, her high-profile reconciliation with Brown (announced through playful bedroom pics in their Twitter feeds).
Her career took off because she sang about the experience. Eighteen months after the attack, she and Eminem collaborated on the chart-busting single, “Love the Way You Lie,” in which a healed and sparkly Rihanna sings this catchy tune:
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
That’s all right, because I like the way it hurts
The music video features actors so attractive and domestic violence so sensuous, I practically wanted Eminem to start hitting me by the time it faded to black.
Clearly, this is not how domestic violence looks in real life. For twelve years, I was a federal prosecutor in D.C., where I specialized in sex crimes and domestic violence. It is an ugly thing, filled with pain and shame, broken bones and broken promises, and terrified children at risk of becoming terrorizing monsters themselves.
Although a generation of girls may look at Rihanna and think an abusive boyfriend gets you diamonds and record deals, in real life it leads to over 18 million mental health care visits and almost eight million missed days of work each year.
SVU’s ending was dramatic – but based on grimly real statistics. Every day, three women in America die as a result of domestic violence. In 70 to 80% of these homicides, the man physically abused the woman before the murder.
As a prosecutor, I saw over and over the interaction that SVU authentically portrayed last night. I would meet a woman the day of her attack. She would be bloody and bruised and ready to send her assailant to jail. Three months later, on the day of trial, she would be cuddling with her abuser in the back of the courtroom. “Please, Ms. Leotta,” she would say. “I don’t want him to go to jail. I love him. Drop the charges.” Indeed, 80% of domestic violence victims are back with their abusers by the time of trial and want the charges dropped.
This was something that haunted me every day, and kept me working late every night. I thought about this issue so often, it became my first book, Law of Attraction, a novel about a DV homicide.
I had to weigh the power of her choice against the likelihood that he would kill her. My job was homicide prevention. Because domestic violence doesn’t go away quietly; it spirals upwards, with each incident getting more violent and brutal. I saw too many cases where a victim refused to testify – and was killed by the man she was trying to protect.
One in four American women will experience domestic abuse in her lifetime. Each one of those women will decide whether to testify against her abuser. And in making her decision, each will consider various pop culture images. On one hand will be glamorous Rihanna, dancing in black leather shorts while crooning about how good the pain feels. On the other will be SVU’s image of a similar woman’s death at the hands of the man who brought that pain. It’s not pretty. But it’s real.
A cautionary tale was in order. Kudos to SVU for providing it.
SVU Episode #14-16: Funny Valentine
Tonight’s SVU episode was a barely-fictionalized rendition of the tumultuous Rihanna/Chris Brown saga, except, in the end, the dewy-eyed songstress doesn’t top the music charts but is killed by her lover. The ending was dramatic – but realistic. Bravo to SVU for nailing the real challenges of prosecuting domestic-violence cases.
Recap:
A beautiful young singer named Micha records a duet with her baby-faced beau, Caleb. The beat is barely faded when Caleb starts flirting with another woman – and then punching Micha when she confronts him.
The next day, Micha’s face is covered in bruises, but she’s reluctant to testify against Caleb. She loves him. But Olivia flashes her patented empathetic smile, and Micha eventually admits that Caleb hit and strangled her.
A press frenzy ensues (with Perez Hilton playing himself). The two stars tweet up a storm, and their reps issue competing press releases.
Caleb goes on a talk show, the picture of contrition. “I love you, baby” he murmurs to the camera and thus to Micha, “That I hurt you, it tears me, up. I’m so so sorry. You’re all that matters. This ring is for you.” He displays a rock the size of a tennis ball.
Micha puts the ring on her finger and refuses to testify against him. [Read more…]
SVU Episode #14-15: Deadly Ambitions
Come on, admit it. Who hasn’t fantasized about killing their sister’s no-good boyfriend? SVU took that fantasy – along with some realistic points about domestic violence, sibling rivalry, and Internal Affairs investigations – and turned it into “Deadly Ambitions,” a well-plotted episode that scored high on suspense and low on crim-pro mistakes.
Recap: Amanda’s ditzy sister Kim is back in NY, with a bruise on her cheek and a bun in the oven, both courtesy of Jeff, her gun-loving good-ol-boy ex. Amanda helps Kim get a restraining order, to little avail. When Amanda comes home from a shift, she hears her sister inside screaming – “Jeff! You’re hurting me!” – and bursts into the apartment. Jeff is in the middle of one of his favorite hobbies: beating the stuffing out of Kim.
Still, he tries one feeble attempt to explain. “She called me!” he yells, pointing a shiny silver revolver at Amanda. Bad move, buddy. Amanda, who’s earned the nickname “Annie Oakley” at the NYPD firing range, promptly shoots him to death.
The whole incident, while sub-optimal, seems like an open-and-shut case for NYPD. Amanda was clearly acting to protect her pregnant little sister. You’d think she’d want to tell her story and clear everything up ASAP, right? But Olivia and Cragen urgently tell her not to talk to anyone – especially not vindictive Internal Affairs Lt. Tucker – until she gets her union delegate. Meanwhile, she can’t be on active duty until she’s cleared in the internal investigation into her use of deadly force.
Since Amanda’s house is a crime scene, she and Kim crash at Finn’s place. For the first time in fourteen years, we see where Finn lives – which was remarkably normal. There was a questionable ceramic leopard and some framed cartoon posters on the walls, but mostly it seemed like a middle-of-the-road blue-collar bachelor pad. I guess I expected Finn’s interior-decorating sensibilities to more closely resemble Ice-T’s website home page:
Yowza. I suppose they can’t show that album cover on prime-time TV. [Read more…]
SVU Episode # 14-14: “Secrets Exhumed”
After last week’s Mike Tyson debacle, I was hoping SVU would regroup and come back with a strong, realistic episode. Instead, “Secrets Exhumed” eschewed plausibility and focused on creating unbelievable plot twists. It succeeded … in being unbelievable.
Recap: A cold case is re-sparked when a Florida prisoner’s DNA matches a series of five rapes from 25 years ago. When Olivia and Nick fly to Miami to pick up the suspect, wheelchair-bound Brian Traymore, they’re met by an FBI agent played by Marcia Gay Harden, who cheerfully suggests they all investigate together. Olivia happily agrees to work with Marcia, who has periodically guest-starred on SVU over the years.
Olivia and Nick quickly extract a confession from Traymore, who was a serial rapist until a car accident severed his spine. But he only admits to four of the five rape/murders. That is, until Marcia comes into the room and, using a voice as soft and creepy as a snake charmer, convinces him to confess to rape/murder #5, the attack on a beautiful young kindergarten teacher named Kyra.
The case seems closed, until Kyra’s fiancee, Noah, shows up at the station and greets Marcia with a hug and an exchange of guilty glances. Nick’s Spidey sense tells him something’s off. And he’s right.
Turns out, Marcia used to date Noah in college. He broke up with her just a few weeks before getting engaged to Kyra – who was pregnant at the time she was killed.
Although SVU conventions demand that at least one investigator be personally involved with a victim or witness to the crime (case in point: the preview for next week, where Amanda shoots her sister’s boyfriend), Nick is shocked – shocked! – that Marcia had a relationship with Noah. [Read more…]
SVU Episode # 14-13: Monster’s Legacy
It’s hard to decide which was the worst part about tonight’s SVU: the decision to cast convicted rapist Mike Tyson as a rape victim, or a storyline so convoluted it had the entire NYPD Special Victims Unit working to exonerate the Ohio prisoner he portrayed. The most redeeming thing about the episode was the cathartic experience of seeing Tyson behind bars.
Recap:
Within the first few seconds of “Monster’s Legacy,” a stern gymnastics coach is stabbed multiple times in the groin. Don’t get attached, folks, this is merely the jumping off point. Heck, it was more than a jump; it was a triple cartwheel with a backflip. If he weren’t in the ICU, the neutered gymnastics coach would have approved.
See, the young janitor who did the stabbing (and who subsequently choked a fellow prisoner while riding New York’s least-secure prison bus) is a long-ago victim of childhood sex abuse at an upstate summer camp, and suffering from a form of PTSD that makes him attack men he suspects of pedophilia.
“Noted,” says Cragen when he learns of this mitigating information. “We’ll tell the DA.”
And here, folks, is where the case would have ended in real life.
“What about the summer camp?” Olivia insists.
SVU Episode # 14-12: Criminal Hatred
This was a strong episode blending serious, cutting-edge issues like gay-on-gay hate crimes with the sparkling entertainment provided by dressing up the detectives to infiltrate gay bars and strip clubs.
Recap:
A handsome young man is luring rich, closeted gay men to hotel rooms, where he ties them up, beats them, sodomizes them, and steals their valuables. The victims, all hoping to keep their secret lives secret, refuse to talk to SVU’s detectives. What are the police to do? Swathe Ice-T and Nick in their best Banana Republic and send them out as bait in a gay bar called Hotmale (what else?). This gambit doesn’t work (did anyone think it would?), but it did provide some fine eye candy.
Meanwhile, another man becomes a victim – and dies because of his weak heart. Using actual police methods like talking to witnesses and tracing stolen credit cards, our good detectives soon find the apparent murderer: a blond male stripper with the appropriately soft-core-porn name of Jeremy Jones.
Win 2 Tickets to the Icing Smiles Gala
My friend Tracy Quisenberry is an amazing woman who started a nonprofit called Icing Smiles, which delivers custom cakes to families impacted by the critical illness of a child. To date, they’ve provided cakes and treats to 2,000 families.
Tracy Quisenberry
On Saturday, February 2, 2013, Icing Smiles will throw its Second Annual Gala at the Oak Room in Sandy Spring, MD, from 7:00-11:00 p.m. The event will feature light hors d’oeurves, live entertainment, a silent auction, and dessert (believe me, these people know how to do dessert!). My husband and I can’t wait to go!
I’m giving away two tickets (normally $150), to one of my readers. If you’re interested, leave a comment here noting your favorite cake flavor. One reader’s name will be randomly drawn from a hat next Tuesday.