Ripped from the Headlines!

It’s been a busy season for men behaving badly, right? These headlines are too good for the writers at Law & Order: SVU to pass up. Which news story will be the basis of an SVU episode next season? I made my guesses below – what do you think? (If you don’t know who these real-life stories are about, the answers – and links – are on the bottom.)

The Great Seducer. Odds, 1:1. The snooty president of an international monetary agency, and shoo-in for the next president of France, is charged with raping a chambermaid at his posh New York hotel. SVU pretty much has to cover this one, right?

Look At My Weiner. Odds, 2:1. A New York Congressman sends nude pictures of his crotch to women he just met on the Internet. His beautiful pregnant politico wife is not amused.

The Adulternator. Odds, 3:1. A governor impregnates the family housekeeper, then keeps his love child a secret for over a decade. His wife travels back in time to have him castrated.

Teachers’ Pets. Odds, 4:1. Professors at a state university are charged with running a massive online prostitution ring. It was a tip-off when they offered a course called “Intro to Pimp Studies.”

Your Mother Should Know. Odds, 5:1. An abstinence advocate, who also happens to be the daughter of a Vice-Presidential candidate, claims she unwillingly lost her virginity during a camping trip, while she was passed out drunk. Some advocates call for rape charges to be brought against the boyfriend.

You Can’t Make This Stuff Up. Odds, 10:1. A male construction worker leaps to his death from a 50-story skyscraper after enduring constant harassment by female underwear models at the agency across the street.

Take your pick – or tell me another story that screams SVU episode!

Answers:
The Great Seducer – IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn.
Look At My Weiner – Congressman Anthony Weiner.
The Adultenator – Governor Arnold Schwarzenneger.
Teachers’ Pets – Professors at University of New Mexico.
Your Mother Should Know – Bristol Palin.
You Can’t Make This Stuff Up – actually, I did make that one up.

Comments

  1. Bob Gatecourt says:

    Lululemon.

  2. The Lululemon murder is a great suggestion! If you’re not from DC, what happened is more or less this: two women working at an upscale Bethesda yoga store are robbed and violently sexually assaulted as they close the store one night. One of the women is killed in the attack; her coworker survives. A week or so later, the police arrest — the surviving woman. Turns out, the police allege, that she murdered her coworker for catching her stealing from the store, and she made up the robbery and assault to cover her tracks.
    For this to be a real SVU episode, however, the dead woman’s parents would have to come to the SVU lockup at the very end and personally shoot the killer. Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed that SVU bad guys always get killed vigilante style before the DA can get them in trial? In real life, this would infuriate Benson and Stabler, because if a defendant dies before the trial, they don’t get a stat.

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