Summary: A beautiful woman is raped and her body dumped in an industrial laundry plant. After accusing a few laundry employees of the crime, the cops see video of a car dumping the body at the laundry. They trace the car to a recent parolee, who’s pale and twitchy as a rabbit. When they visit his house, Twitchy shoots at them from inside. The cops bust in, arrest him, and find a box stuffed with trophies from other rapes. They search his house and discover a basement torture cellar. Oddly, the trophies are from rapes that happened 40 years ago. Turns out, the killer is actually Twitchy’s silver-haired prison cellmate, recently released from prison. Det. Benson finds a forty-year-old blond woman who is the product of one of the long-ago rapes. In the end, Blondie bludgeons Silver to death with a frying pan, then abandons her eleven-year-old son to Benson.

Verdict: C

What they got wrong: How much time do you have?

Vaginal Injuries. The victim had “serious” vaginal injuries. So many SVU victims do. But in reality, most victims of sexual assaults don’t have any vaginal injuries at all. We’re talking about anatomy that can stretch to fit a whole baby. But juries expect to see it. In many sexual assault trials, the prosecution needs to call an expert witness to tell the jury that lack of vaginal injuries doesn’t mean the victim consented.

Jumping to Conclusions. Do you remember in the movie “Office Space,” the deluded co-worker worker who thought he’d make millions on a board game called “Jump To Conclusions”?  This SVU episode reminded me of that. Every time the police went to interview anyone, they started by accusing the person of being a rapist. To the guy who drove the laundry truck, their first sentence was: “You raped and killed that girl!” To his nurse/girlfriend: “You helped him!”  To the twitchy guy who said he’d just gone to the corner store: “Is that when you raped and killed that girl?” Haven’t the detectives learned that it’s never the guy they talk to in the first two minutes of the show? Plus, this isn’t a fabulous way to build trust with  witnesses.

Shouting Facts at the Suspect. And their interrogation technique of the suspect was bizarre. Every time the cops learned a new fact, they rushed to the cellblock and shouted it at Twitchy. “We cut through your padlock!” “There’s blood in your basement drain!” “We found all your trophies!” Detectives Stabler and Benson: I love you guys, truly, I do, but can I offer you a little advice? Stop updating the suspect about your case. He’s not in charge of your end-of-the-year evaluation. Just ask him a question. At one point, Twitchy sobbed, “I never go in the basement!” If the detectives had just asked him, “Who does?” we could’ve wrapped up this episode in half the time. The best police interrogators are friendly and patient. They get the subject to talk for hours and hours, about a lot of unimportant stuff. And then they ask, “So, tell me about your basement.” And when he gives his false exculpatory story (“Um, I run a dentist office out of it…”), you’ve got him.

You Too Can Become a Notary for $12. After Blondie kills her father (who was also her mother’s rapist), she drops her son off at the police station. Benson is shocked when the boy hands her a note which contains – gasp! – a notarized transfer of parental rights from Blondie to Benson! Oh my god! Benson is now the legal guardian of the kid! Actually – no.  Know how you get to be a notary? You send a copy of your drivers license and a check for like $12 to your local secretary of state. You get a little stamp and the ability to help your colleagues when they need to send an official document to their kids’ daycare (basically, the notary just confirms that the document’s signer is there in person, signing the document). I was a notary in Michigan when I was, I think, 16 years old. I couldn’t transfer anyone’s parental rights. If I could have, I might have tried to transfer myself to Bill Gates’ custody. Dad, can I borrow the Lear tonight?

Despite the funny paperwork, I thought this was an interesting plot twist, and I’m looking forward to seeing how Benson handles having a kid!  I think she’d make a great mother.

What They Got Right: When Twitchy shot at the detectives from his house, Stabler busted down his door, grabbed the guy, and handcuffed him. Benson then opened the box at his feet and found the rape trophies. The cops had the authority to do this. Police don’t have to get a warrant when a suspect is shooting at them from inside a house. Benson and Stabler personally observed Twitchy commit a felony, and they were in hot pursuit, so they were good to go into his house and arrest him without a warrant. Once they arrested him, they had the authority to search his “wingspan,” including the box at his feet.  Good work, guys.

*All the views on this site are mine alone and do not necessarily represent the views of the U.S. Department of Justice.